Assume the position

I'll admit that for me it is very easy to whine about the high gas and food prices. Especially on days that I am paying the bills and balancing the checkbook. Like yesterday. But in reality whining about it doesn't do much good, other than annoy those around me.

So I am going to try something new. Instead of complaining I will be thankful that at least we can afford it. We are not in the position of having to choose between putting gas in the tank and food on the table, and I am extremely thankful for that.

But that doesn't mean that I have to stop laughing at jokes like the one below:







So what funny things have you run across lately? Do share below....

I'm a curly girl.....

All my life I have struggled with accepting the way I look. Being of Italian and Native American descent (Italian from my Dad, Cherokee from my Mom), I do not have the typical all-American, girl-next-door looks. People are forever asking me where I am from. When I tell them Virginia they do not believe that I am American, that I must be from some other country. Granted, my Dad is half Italian, so I have inherited a lot of the Scicilian features....namely a temper, a large nose and thick, curly hair.

And it is the hair that I curse the most. I complain about it all the time...it's unruly and I can't do anything with it. It's even hard for me to find a stylist that can do something with it. I know it's bad when the first words out of their mouth are "wow, your hair is thick."

For proof, I give you Exhibit A:







Even worse, now that it is summer, it's frizzy. Makes me mad! So when I saw this lolcat, I cracked up laughing:







Now it's your turn to make us laugh!

The butt of all jokes

So yesterday I read a story on the internet about a guy in Cincinnati, Ohio who was caught using his cell phone to take pictures of a naked woman at a tanning salon. When questioned by police, he claimed he didn't have a cell phone. So the police searched him for it. And they found it. In. His. Butt.

That's right. He shoved his cell phone up his (_!_).

You can see the original police report here, and the court affidavit here.

Now I have three questions:

1. How did the police think to check his...umm...rear end? Was the antenna sticking out? Did it start ringing?

2. Wouldn't it have been easier to just delete the pictures, rather than shove the entire cell phone up his butt?

3. Finally, what is the best butt joke you can come up with?

And as always, we want you to share your funny story or joke with us! Sign below...

Tickle Me Tuesday

Please keep my sister in your thoughts and prayers throughout this morning and afternoon. Today begins what proves to be a....well....an interesting next few months as she and the baby's father begin their custody battle. Since he refused to sign the birth certificate (he did not like the name my sister chose for the baby), the court will be perfoming a paternity test today.

Even though it is just the paternity test, she is still extremely nervous, as any mom would be in her situation. So, to add some humor to what is an already stress and anxiety-filled situation, I suggested that she might want to invest in a couple of these onsies:







We know in the end it will work out exactly how God plans it, but still. It isn't going to be easy or fun until all is said and done.

So what have you come across that is funny lately? Do share....

Tickle Me Tuesday - The Memo Edition

For a while now Emma has been bugging us for a pet. Rabbit, cat, guinea pig, bird, dog....you name it, she tries to negotiate a purchase. I keep telling her that she can buy any pet she wants when she grows up and lives in her own house. That answer seems to make her happy for the time being.

At the same time she has been talking about she wants to have her own baby. Seeings that she is only four and not ready for the "birds 'n bees" talk, I tell her that she can have her own baby when she is much, much older. And married.

So one day she asked me: "When I grow up, I can choose between having my own pet and my own baby?"

My reply? "Yes, and if I were you I'd choose the pet."

But anywho, apparently Emma did not get my memo about not buying anything unnecessary this month because somehow this past weekend we became the proud owners of a Perfect Pet. He's a German Shepherd puppy Emma has named Max.











And he really is a perfect pet. He just lays around all day sleeping. You never have to take him out to pee, or feed him, or spend hundreds of dollars on vet bills. No barking, no dog hair all over your furniture.

But the best part?

All the hugs and kisses Emma has given us since then, thanking us for her new puppy.

So what has tickled you lately? Share it with us by putting your signature below....

Tickle Me Tuesday - The Shopping Edition

Here we are, another edition of Tickle Me Tuesday!

This is something I had previously posted last year, way before anyone but family had discovered my blog. It is funny, yet also goes along with what I will be talking about tomorrow. I am going to do something I have never done before. And I figure that announcing it to the entire blogging community will help keep me honest.

So is this how you shop?







Thanks for sharing your funnies!!

Tickle Me Tuesday - Flying Objects Edition

Okay, let me just warn you. This video may not be for the faint of heart...if you are easily offended then you may not want to watch. It involves Gary Kasparov, a Russian press conference....and flying male genitalia.



But I think it is totally hilarious.







My only question is: where can I buy one like that?

And as always...please share your funnies by leaving your link below:

Tickle Me Tuesday

Okay, so the past couple of weeks have been kinda hectic around here. I had forgotten how hands-on infants are. Can't just toss an ice-pop at them and go tell them to entertain themselves. Nope. They are looking for you to entertain them. And sometimes that can be impossible.

So when I saw this picture online, I thought it was quite applicable:







Oh, and this desktop icon:








Yesterday Emma asked me if she could please play her My Little Pony game on games.com, and then explained to me how "her Dad" had put a "button" on the computer that is a picture of "a piece of paper with a moon thingee." And if I "click on that" it will "take you to games.com."

And you know the drill...

Tickle Me Tuesday -- The Soaked Edition

Not to make fun of the situation in Mynamar/Burma or anything, but I believe the remnants of that cyclone parked itself above the Washington, DC metro area for the past four days. We've gotten about 10 inches of rain since Thursday.

So, in light of our current rain situation, I thought I would share the following joke with you:

And as usual....






Graphic from Chris Madden.

Tickle Me Tuesday

Okay, so I am going to be honest here. I'm not really in the tickling mood right now. My sister and her baby was released from the hospital on Sunday evening and yesterday I had to rush her up to the hospital for a blood transfusion. She needed 2 units and will hopefully be released today. So she isn't doing so hot.

But the baby is home with us in the meantime; he's doing great. Already gained 8 ounces in 5 days! He weighed 9 lbs. 2 oz at birth and now weighs 9 lbs. 10 oz.

So yeah, up until now I had forgotten how it feels to be sleep-deprived. Taking care of my sister, the baby and Emma is kinda hard.

I do have one question, however. Why don't babies come with ringtones?

Tickle Me Tuesday!

I missed Tickle Me Tuesday last week, but thanks to Marie for posting hers anyway.

So, I don't think it is a secret that I have developed a slight obsession with cooking and cookbooks/magazines. I get excited when I find a new recipe to try out. I even have a cooking blog.

But even though I am branching out into more ethnic foods these days, I just don't think I'll be adding these recipes to my recipe binder any time soon (click to enlarge):














Don't forget to leave your link!



Photos from Found in Mom's Basement.

Tickle Me Tuesday

Just tonite I read an interesting statistic about pre-schoolers. The article said that the average 4-year old asks 437 questions a day. That doesn't include all the talking, that is just the questions. Now I know why my brain is mush by the end of the day.

Speaking of questions, Emma had a doozy of a question for Peter tonite. And I am so glad I was there to witness it.

Emma always likes looking through our photo albums, so she and Peter were looking through his childhood photos. They came to one with a birthday party, and Emma asked who's party it was.

Peter told her it was when he turned 10 years old.

She looked at him and very seriously asked him: "Is that when you figured out you were a girl?"

I guess all the talk on the news about the worlds' first pregnant man really made an impression on her.

So you know the drill: If you have something to share, leave your signature below!

Tickle Me Tuesday

Welcome to another edition of Tickle Me Tuesday!

Only two days until my interview, and I am so nervous. It's been six years since I've been on one. And I am getting a little discouraged because, even though I have sent my resume to many other companies, this is the only one I've got an interview with so far.

But I've been preparing myself by making notes about the company and their products and rehearsing my answers to typical questions such as:

Why do you want to work for our company? I want to work for any company that will pay me a decent salary.

Where do you see yourself in 5,10 years? Relaxing on a beach in St. Tropez.

Things like that.

But anywho....

I thought I would share with you a guide to the 9 WORDS WOMEN USE. This serves as a warning for men about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. And to give us women a good laugh, 'cause we know it's true.

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Thanks for joining us for another edition of Tickle Me Tuesday! As always, leave your link so we can all join in on the laughs!

Tickle Me Tuesday

Welcome to another edition of Tickle Me Tuesday!




You know, lately we have been hearing a lot about global warming and the negative effects it is having on the earth. The polar caps are melting. The ozone layer is thinning. That sort of thing.

However, for men there are some positive effects of global warming:






Got something funny to share? Leave your name and URL below so we can share in the laughs!

Tickle Me Tuesday

Okay, so up until this weekend I had forgotten how incredibly difficult and boring writing a resume can be. So I think I will distract myself with another edition of Tickle Me Tuesday!

And since I apparently grossed out more than a few of you last week with the picture of the worlds tightest pair of jeans, I will leave you with something that will hopefully have you saying "awwww" rather than "ewwwww."



















Isn't that just cute? And here we all thought that Bambi and Thumper were just Disney cartoon characters.

So if you have something funny to share, leave your signature in the linky below!

Tickle Me Tuesday

At Marie's request, I have decided to take over Tickle Me Tuesday. Because, if there is one thing we need more of in our lives, it is laughter.

So every Tuesday I invite you to post anything you find funny. It could be a joke, a video, a picture or just write about something funny that happened to you. If you get your funny from another site, please remember to credit the original source. Put your permalink in my Mr. Linky, and be sure to visit all the other links.

Here's the code if you want to add it to your blog. But hyperlink to me, please!

<a href="http://jackidyrholm.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff179/jdyrholm/blogger/ticklemetuesday-1.jpg" /></a>

And I leave you with this, a picture of the worlds' tightest pair of jeans. Ever.

To really get the total effect, click on the picture to enlarge.

Tickle Me Tuesday

Is this the precursor to another kind of vibrator?

It would be interesting to find out how many women bought this product....

And join us over at Memarie Lane for some more Tickle Me Tuesday fun!

Tickle Me Tuesday

Just a friendly reminder to all my girls out there that neglecting feminine hygiene can lead to an unhappy marriage.

And leave you locked out of your bedroom.

So use Lysol disinfectant to ensure your "feminine daintiness." It kills the germs on contact. And proven to cleanse the vaginal canal even in the presence of mucous.

GROSS!

On a side note, it shocks me to find out that in the 40's Lysol disinfectant was actually used in women's douche bags! I mean, I spray the stuff around my house to get rid of odors, but never think of spraying it up there!

For more "Tickle Me Tuesday" fun visit Memarie Lane.